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Before I Go To Sleep

Audiobook
1 of 2 copies available
1 of 2 copies available

New York Times Bestseller

"An exceptional thriller. It left my nerves jangling for hours after I finished the last page." –Dennis Lehane, New York Times bestselling author of Shutter Island

"Imagine drifting off every night knowing that your memories will be wiped away by morning. That's the fate of Christine Lucas, whose bewildering internal world is rendered with chilling intimacy in this debut literary thriller. . . . You'll stay up late reading until you know." — People (4 stars)

Memories define us. So what if you lost yours every time you went to sleep? Your name, your identity, your past, even the people you love–all forgotten overnight. And the one person you trust may be telling you only half the story. Welcome to Christine's life. Every morning, she awakens beside a stranger in an unfamiliar bed. She sees a middle-aged face in the bathroom mirror that she does not recognize. And every morning, the man patiently explains that he is Ben, her husband, that she is forty-seven-years-old, and that an accident long ago damaged her ability to remember.

In place of memories Christine has a handful of pictures, a whiteboard in the kitchen, and a journal, hidden in a closet. She knows about the journal because Dr. Ed Nash, a neurologist who claims to be treating her without Ben's knowledge, reminds her about it each day. Inside its pages, the damaged woman has begun meticulously recording her daily events—sessions with Dr. Nash, snippets of information that Ben shares, flashes of her former self that briefly, miraculously appear.

But as the pages accumulate, inconsistencies begin to emerge, raising disturbing questions that Christine is determined to find answers to. And the more she pieces together the shards of her broken life, the closer she gets to the truth . . . and the more terrifying and deadly it is.

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  • Reviews

    • AudioFile Magazine
      Imagine awakening each morning not knowing who you are, where you live, and what happened in the years between what you can remember and each new day when you awaken. Orlagh Cassidy narrates Christine's chilling story of memory and forgetting. Afflicted with a strange form of amnesia as a result of an accident, she must write each day's details and revelations in a diary to keep track of them. Ben, her husband, tells her a mix of truths and lies, while her psychiatrist works to help her remember. Cassidy portrays Christine in crisp tones that alternate between cool, logical determination and the terror of remembering just snatches of her past. Cassidy draws listeners into the shadowy depths of Christine's increasing fear each time a snatch of memory returns. This novel will haunt listeners, and Cassidy's narration is top-notch. M.B.K. Winner of AudioFile Earphones Award (c) AudioFile 2011, Portland, Maine
    • Publisher's Weekly

      Starred review from May 2, 2011
      Memoriesâreal, false, and a bit of bothâare at the heart of British author Watson's haunting, twisted debut. Christine Lucas awakens each morning in London with no idea who she is or why she's in bed with a strange man, until he tells her that his name is Ben and they've been married for 22 years. Slowly, Christine learns that she has amnesia and is unable to remember her past or retain new memories: every night when she falls asleep, the slate is wiped clean. Dr. Nash, her therapist, has encouraged her to write in a journal that she keeps secret from Ben. Christine realizes how truly tangledâand dangerousâher life is after she sees the words "don't trust Ben" written in her journal, whose contents reveal that the only person she can trust is herself. Watson handles what could have turned into a cheap narrative gimmick brilliantly, building to a chillingly unexpected climax.

    • Library Journal

      January 1, 2011

      Nearly strangled to death in her twenties, Christine awakens each morning with absolutely no memory of what happened then--or since. The stranger in her bed must explain that he is her husband, Ben. With the help of a doctor who determines to circumvent Ben, Christine starts a journal--though she must reread it each day, and the doctor must call to tell her where it is. The truth she uncovers is nothing like you'd expect. I've seen this debut, and, yes, it's a gripping, one-sitting psychological thriller. The publishers in 34 countries that have bought the rights, plus Ridley Scott, who's producing the film, can't all be wrong.

      Copyright 2011 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Library Journal

      Starred review from May 1, 2011

      Christine Lucas suffers from a rare form of amnesia as the result of a vaguely defined accident. Each night as she sleeps, her near-term memory is wiped clean, and she awakens knowing little about who she is, where she is, or with whom she lives. Every day her husband, Ben, shares with her the same carefully rehearsed story of their long marriage and gently encourages her struggle to remember. She keeps a journal at the recommendation of her doctor and reads it each morning. As the journal grows, Christine begins to suspect that Ben is not telling her the complete truth about her accident, their son Adam, her successful career as a novelist, or the fire that destroyed the collection of family photos that might help her remember. It is only when she reconnects with an old friend that she learns the truth and escapes her increasingly frightening and violent captivity. VERDICT This debut novel takes an intriguingly fresh look at the amnesia-focused psychological thriller. Though the climax seems a bit hurried, this is nonetheless a captivating and highly suspenseful read, populated with believable characters who lead the reader through a taut, well-constructed plot. Movie rights have been sold to Ridley Scott. Gaslight fans take note. [For another thriller about memory problems, see Alice LaPlante's Turn of Mind; see also Barbara Hoffert's interview with Harper editor Claire Wachtel, who acquired Watson's novel (bit.ly/f2kP2T).--Ed.]--Susan Clifford Braun, Bainbridge Island, WA

      Copyright 2011 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Library Journal

      June 1, 2012

      Christine is another woman trying to reclaim a life gone to pieces. After a mysterious accident, she wakes up each morning with no memory. Her husband Ben repeatedly explains the details of their life together, but the next morning all is lost once again. One day Christine discovers that she has been keeping a journal and the terrifying words she has written there, "Don't trust Ben," throw everything into question. VERDICT Relentless pacing in Watson's intriguing debut psychological thriller draws the reader into Christine's race to figure out who to trust and how to recover her life.

      Copyright 2012 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Kirkus

      March 1, 2011

      Based upon a deceptively simple premise, Watson's debut novel unwinds as a story that is both complicated and compellingly hypnotic.

      Every single morning of Christine's life is exactly the same as every other morning: She awakens next to a total stranger in a room she does not recognize, surrounded by objects she has never before seen. Christine remembers nothing of the day before and not much of the life she lived prior to these mornings. She remembers being a lithe 20-something, but awakens day after day in the body of a woman who is nearly 50, with sagging breasts and wrinkles. Most disturbing, though, is the older man she does not recognize beside her in bed. The man, who patiently explains that he is her husband, Ben, tells her how she has come to this terrible place. Christine, he says, was struck by an automobile and injured. Now she suffers from a type of amnesia that once she sleeps for the night wipes the slate from the previous day clean. When she awakens, she cannot recall her life or the people in it. Ben anticipates her questions, though, and has placed photos of himself and Christine around the bathroom mirror so that when she awakens in a panic, with a body and face that she cannot recognize, she will find the photos and begin once again to adjust to a world where she remembers nothing. But Christine is seeing a doctor behind Ben's back. His name is Dr. Nash, and he encourages her to keep a journal. It is through this journal that she begins to pick up the pieces of her life and who she was before she was injured. Watson writes in the first person, from the perspective of a woman, and the voice is surprisingly spot-on. The angst is unimaginable but palpable in this suspenseful story of a woman who can take nothing for granted.

      Watson's pitch-perfect writing propels the story to a frenzied climax that will haunt readers long after they've closed the cover on this remarkable book.

      (COPYRIGHT (2011) KIRKUS REVIEWS/NIELSEN BUSINESS MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.)

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